Caecilius

Caecilius is a sculptor who works in an office. He likes things shaped like avocados and lookalike contests.

Squintus

Squintus wishes he could rule the world. He thinks he'd be very good at it, and would only smite people on special occasions. Unfortunately, Squintus is a middle management hack in an office full of people on the run from their parole officers.

Cerberus

Cerberus is a three-headed dog who is also a philosopher with weird ideas. He likes persimmons and dislikes three-headed cats.